Most Terrifying Day Ever
by LilyRosetheDreamer
Summary: This is something even the great Batman is scared of. Please review.


**Most Terrifying Day Ever.**

Hi everyone. So I've been thinking… how do Batman, Superman and Flash deal with a woman's time of the month? Well, if you read on, you'll find out! Please review.

* * *

The first thing that the Flash saw as he strolled in to the canteen on the gleaming Justice League Watchtower was like something from hell out of an eighteen rated horror movie. Well, it was to him anyway.

Wonderwoman, Hawkgirl, and Supergirl were all sitting round one of the square tables with the scariest snarls on their faces he had ever seen. They were worse than the Bats!

And that was a fine feat to behold.

"U-um, hi ladies. How y'all doing today?" Flash asked nervously as he edged a little closer.

Diana glared grumpily at him for a moment before nodding to Shayera, who whipped out her mace, flared up her pearly wings and advanced slowly on the Flash (who nearly wet himself).

"Don't ask that question. Don't talk to us, don't touch us, don't come near us. OKAY?" She spat the last word out like an angry cat and the Flash nodded, fearing for his life. He spotted Green Arrow, Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter in the farthest corner of the spacious room and understood completely the fear on their faces.

"Now GET OUT!" Shayera yelled suddenly as Kara put her face in her white gloved hands and sobbed. With a mace-shaped bruise forming on his face, Flash darted away like he never had before, running for his life.

After a while, he literally bumped into Superman's chest as he and Batman headed for the cafeteria.

"Hi Wally, wanna come eat with us?"

"NO! If you guys value your lives, you won't go IN there!"

Batman stared unblinkingly. Wally was so happy to see that for the first time in his life.

"Why?" the Dark Avenger deadpanned and Flash visibly trembled all over, green eyes wide.

"Idunnowhat'sthematterwiththegirls!Di,!AndKarawascryinglikecrazy!"

Superman tilted his head, confused. "Say that again?"

Flash repeated it slowly and Clark shook his head.

"Strange. Maybe something bad happened? We should ask-"

He was cut off from walking forward by a black-clad arm flinging itself in his path.

"Wait." Batman seemed to have realized something. "Flash, what did they have on the table to eat?"

"A massive tub of ice-cream. Why?"

Batman's insides turned to ice.

"Gentlemen, we have a situation."

Neither of them had ever heard Bruce Wayne sound so…scared before. It had to be bad, whatever it was.

"What do you mean?" asked poor Wally, vibrating in worry.

In a deathly serious tone, Batman replied;

"They're on their menstrual cycle."

Blink. Blink.

Blank faces.

Typical for the Boy Scout and The Dumbest Man Alive not to get it.

"They're on their period."

It was like he had just said the apocalypse was upon them. Flash screamed like a girl and prepared to run away. Superman turned white. Batman's opaque lenses widened beneath the dark cowl as they all stared at each other.

"We've GOT to get away." Kal-El whispered. "We'll die if we don't!"

The metal gleaming corridors had never seemed more threatening than at that moment.

"We could crawl through the ventilation shafts." Flash whined anxiously and Batman shook his head.

"Too slow. Wally, you run us up to the hangar. We'll take the Batplane and go to Gotham. We'll beat up the Joker or something to pass the time."

Cerulean and verdant eyes shone in excitement. He NEVER let them near his precious city!

* * *

In Penguin's bar, the Joker sneezed.

"Are you okay Puddin'? You could be getting a cold!" Harley Quinn said doubtfully as her crimson and black hat jingled.

"No I don't think so…" the Joker looked thoughtful. "Maybe someone's talking about me. Oh well." He shrugged as the clown went back to his relaxing knitting.

* * *

"Right then. Let's go!" Superman nodded with urgency as the Flash grabbed on to both of them and rocketed to the steel Batplane, getting there within seconds. Bruce started to hoist himself into the black leather pilot's seat when a deadly voice froze them all in their tracks.

"GOING somewhere?"

Superman squeaked and fled under the sleek fighter plane to lay himself, red cape and all, on the stainless steel floor. Flash just froze, his features stuck on shock and Batman wobbled and fell on his buttocks in a highly undignified manner.

They'd been caught.

"J-Just going on a small mission. Bats wanted our help." Stammered the Crimson Lightening as Wonderwoman, Hawkgirl and Supergirl approached the three quaking men menacingly.

"Batman never asks for help. Why are you lying to us, Flash?" Supergirl's voice held a creepy undertone to it that even caused Batman to shudder. It was like being around the women of Gotham on their PMS all over again.

"Here is the shopping list and we expect it ALL to be purchased. GOT IT?" Wonderwoman slammed the little piece of paper into Superman's broad chest (he flinched) and practically shouted the last bit as the winged woman next to her suddenly got a little bit too excited.

"Ahaha! Yay, we're getting what we want! Oh my god, my life is complete with this!" Then she dissolved into tears and the raven-haired Amazon led out her companions, burning holes into the three males as they left.

The Boy Scout and Scarlet Speedster crowded round the Dark Knight to check out the list:

_Ice-cream – ESPECIALLY chocolate – and lots of it._

_Disney films._

_New clothes to make us look good when we feel better._

_Plenty of Tylenol._

_Finally, pads and tampons and deodorant._

Flash's jaw dropped at the last sentence.

"They expect us to do THAT?"

Batman sighed. "We have no choice Wally. Once a woman gives you her shopping list, you have to do it. Or you die."

"I heard that Harley sent the Joker into hospital when SHE was on her time of the month. All because he forgot one little thing." Superman shook his head sadly.

In the bar, both the Joker and Harley sneezed at the same time.

Boarding the Batplane hurriedly, the three heroes prayed as they travelled to Keystone City to embark on their most daring mission yet.

* * *

"Okay, I'm doing the movies!" Flash blurted as soon as they landed in the car park (causing many stares) and sped into the local Wal-Mart before Clark or Bruce could protest.

"Gah! I call the ice-cream and the clothes!" Batman squealed and pelted off after the Flash.

"TRAITORS!" Superman yelled and shivered. "I can't do this."

Entering the movie section, Wallace West headed straight for the Disney section of the DVDs. Grabbing every Disney movie he could find (he sniffled remembering Bambi), he sauntered up to the counter and slapped the money Bruce gave him on to the shiny desk.

"For the orphans." He lied easily, flashing brilliant white teeth and the girl cooed as she packed for him.

"Why would they watch such depressing films?" the speedster wondered as he went to find Batman.

Bruce Wayne smiled as he entered the ice-cream section. Yes he might be killed by Kal later, but it was totally worth it. He was an expert at dealing with PMSing women.

"Let's see…mint choc chip, chocolate fudge, cookie dough and strawberry cheesecake. Six of each of course. Ooo, they'll like THIS one!" he practically sang as he picked out the best Ben and Jerry's flavours. Running with the trolley, he sailed over to the clothes, causing passers-by to look terrified at the gleeful smile on his strong face. After picking the most expensive and sexy clothes he could find, he shot off to the counter, wondering how much agony Clark was in.

Clark was in fits.

"I can't believe I'm doing this…" the dark-haired man muttered as he scooped any brand of painkillers and woman's deodorant into his awkward trolley with his big hands. One man nodded sagely as they crossed in the squeaky clean aisles.

"Yep, they're better than men's any day."

Clark burned crimson. Then he reached the pad and tampon section. It was so white…but full of colours at the same time! And the amount of brands! Supes felt like crying.

"Oh who cares? Just get them all Kal and get the hell out." The Man of Steel murmured angrily and swiped twenty pads and tampons into the cart.

A little boy started crying upon seeing this and the mother glared at him as she consoled the child.

"Crap…"

Superman hurried off in shame.

He found the others chatting happily by the Batplane and he stared at Batman being so sociable before dumping his bags on the stormy grey tarmac at their feet. He huffed past them wordlessly and clambered into the back seat, sulking.

"Aww, aren't you cute when you sulk?" Batman teased giddily as he and Flash strapped on their belts and Wally mused vaguely on the possibility of Bruce being able to PMS too.

When they arrived back safely, they all gulped.

"I just want you guys to know that I love you." Wally whispered and Superman nodded, putting a thick hand on his red shoulder.

"We feel the same."

They trotted together to face their doom.

* * *

"Did you get them?" Kara greeted them in an icy tone as the blonde practically snatched away the bags and let her comrades rifle through them.

"Aw look, Lion King!" shrieked Shay, grinning insanely.

"YAY, CHOCOLATE!" cried Kara.

"Oh my god, look at this dress!" Diana squealed, holding up a classic, royal purple, backless dress.

"We officially love you long time." Shay danced with Wally and John growled in jealousy.

"Wait-is that…?" Wonderwoman trailed off as she held up a Black Forest Gateau for the others to see.

"Yep, complete with cherries." Bruce answered smugly and was rewarded with a smooch from Wonderwoman.

Settling down with Mulan, the three women lounged on the couch with a week's worth of ice-cream and other goodies, leaving Kal-El and Wally to run headlong out of the cream and black living room, rejoicing at their freedom. Batman waited until they'd gone before settling down with the girls and taking some cookie dough. An unspoken acceptance was introduced as Supergirl passed him a chocolate bar.

Yep. Life as Batman was good.


End file.
